Fire & Hire

For days, I've been thinking about how I should go about this specific post. 

This is technically the first official post of  "The Anias Chapter" so I definitely did not want to turn you away. 
Talk about pressure...
However, I've decided to just be completely transparent, vulnerable, and give you the raw & the real b/c.. why not?


To be completely honest, I've never been in a more revealing phase regarding life...in many ways this is amazing beyond measure and in a few ways, it isn't completely ideal. One thing I know for sure is that, I am definitely growing...I can feel it.
Lately, I've been in this space where explanations aren't necessarily needed. They're great and always a mature move but I could totally do without. 
Afterall, they are just words. 
Words..
among so many other things are the gateway for staying in places and situations you've evolved from a long time ago. I mean, I could definitely be cliche and say "actions speak louder than words" ....so that's exactly what I'm gonna say b/c it's true. lolol!

Here lately, God has blessed me with some amazing people who show me everyday that I am valued, I am loved, my natural being is needed in their life and who wouldn't want that feeling?

Let's be real here. 

We are human. 

We crave the feeling of being needed, shown love, and desired...platonically and even more intimately. No matter how much you may completely deprive yourself of this due to being afraid, previous trauma, or simply being unaware of how to accept these attributes from others.... It's in our genetic makeup to feel care and effort from others..& trust me, it is completely okay to want this and demand this from friendships, relationships, and any type of relations. I wouldn't steer you wrongly.

While I am completely overjoyed and thankful for my amazing friends, family, and sisters...I almost feel a bit contrite for actually noticing the individuals who don't show this type of passion in return.
I hope what I'm trying to say makes sense.. It's like this, I'm totally thankful and beyond appreciative of the astounding people in my life who love me and show they care but am I wrong for acknowledging that I do in fact feel a way towards those who essentially don't? or those who don't reciprocate the same devotion and affection I show towards them? I definitely don't want to come off as selfish but I also could never completely disregard and dismiss how I feel about any situation b/c what exactly does that solve? 
How could I expect others to treat me a certain way if I don't even give myself that aspect of respect?
This is why I said this is the most revealing phase of my life..
I've never been this attentive to myself or my feelings. 
and honestly, It feels great. 

Lately it has become so easy for me to detach. It has become so easy for me to literally never speak to a person again who repeatedly makes me feel a way that isn't conducive to my spirit or my growth, without warning. 

As aforementioned, no explanation needed.

 I'm not completely sure if this is healthy but I do know it has totally improved my confidence and overall perception of myself. 

It's okay to say "this isn't serving me," "I'm not getting what I'm giving from this person," "this person doesn't make me feel the best about myself," "this person continuously makes me feel excluded," It's okay to bounce. lol I don't curse, but F them!!!! 

*DISCLAIMER* 
I'm not saying don't communicate!
Please practice healthy expression.

But after you've taken that ought to that specific person and the things you went to that individual about still happens...do me a favor, love yourself and eliminate that person from your life. The history doesn't matter, the soul tie doesn't matter, the talents that person may possess doesn't matter, the memories? they don't matter. Where's the substance?...trust the fact that you deserve only the best of relations with people.

You are deserving of all the things you give........please take that literally. 

This will cost you friendships, "sisters," "brothers," lovers, and even family but the feeling of acceptance and appreciation you gain towards YOURSELF outweighs all of those inadequate connections. 

This next stage of your life is going to require you to elevate and upgrade all aspects of your life including people who are essentially just taking up valuable space. 
I'm not sure about you but I am in my 20's. 21 to be exact. I'm not even in my prime yet...It's definitely the time to fire ANYONE from my life who doesn't feed my soul, make me feel great about life, myself, and inspires me to grow. I've been hiring those who do. 

If it's meant to be, I'll catch you later in life. 
It's never any love lost..my heart is too pure.
I'm just in a place where I'm falling in love with myself...

You should do the same, 

-Nas